The Watering Can

Hard to write is an understatement. When will it ever be easy? 

Death, grief, loss. Death of people, grief that lingers, and loss of what you think a life should look like all came within several months. They lined up in an order that was the building blocks of the future. The pain, the hurt, and the emotions that go up, down, and swirl like a rollercoaster. The heart, the mind, and the soul all feel the pangs sent rushing down the tracks, holding on for dear life and praying that, within time, the threads that hold them all together will never detach from the rails.  

If you know, you know, and God bless you. If you don’t know, I hope that you don’t ever. However, God never promised us that life would be filled with rainbows and butterflies. He said we would have trouble, adversities, and circumstances that cause us to suffer.  

You would think certain dates would hit differently over time, but they don’t. You go back through the pictures of that day, and you wonder how this day could look different. You go down rabbit holes of this and that.  

The truth is that what leaves you empty and shattered can also be the link to your healing. Grief and loss allow you to dig deep into yourself and bring to the surface things that have been buried. We dig through the dirt to reveal what has been rooted in us for years. We then realize that no one else can rebuild us but us. We must do the hard work of repairing and rebuilding. The things that bring us the most pain can also bring the most joy.  

Ashlyn Anderson shared the song Flowers by Samantha Ebert on Facebook. Have you ever had one of those times when God showed up at the perfect time, and you didn’t even realize it was the ideal time? She couldn’t have written the words for this song any better. 

I can close my eyes and envision God holding the water can and pouring the water that turns into tears running down my face. I can see the flowers that have started to bloom since the seeds of death, grief, and loss were planted. He has answered many desperate prayers, and I am still waiting for some answers for others. I understand that, at times, we have to stay in the moment on that rollercoaster to be able to finish.  

FLOWERS by Samantha Ebert

Well, blue skies and hillsides feel so far away

And I wrote in my notebook that I’ve seen better days

Than the ones as of late, I can’t bear the weight

The rain won’t stop pouring out my window pane

And I haven’t left my bedroom in 76 days

I wish something would change

‘Cause I’m losing faith

So, I brought it up in a desperate prayer

Lord, why are you keeping me here?

Then He said to me, “Child, I’m planting seeds

I’m a good God and I have a good plan

So trust that I’m holding a watering can

And someday you’ll see that flowers grow in the valley.”

So whatever the reason, I’m barely getting by

I’ll trust it’s a season, knowing that you’re by my side

Every step of the way

And I’ll be okay

‘Cause I brought it up in a desperate prayer

Lord, why are you keeping me here?

Then He said to me, “Child, I’m planting seeds

I’m a good God and I have a good plan.”

So trust that I’m holding a watering can

And someday you’ll see that flowers grow in the valley

Mm, mm

When I’m on the mountain and looking down below

I’ll see a valley of flowers that needed time to grow

And I’ll thank you for the rain, the hurt, and days of pain

And I’ll bring it up in a grateful prayer

Thank you, Jesus, for keeping me there

You know just what I need, and you’ve planted seeds

‘Cause you’re a good God with a real good plan

And you hold my world and a watering can

So I can have peace ’cause flowers grow in the valley

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DDeSUxcTIY

Healing isn’t for the weak; it isn’t easy or gentle. I praise Him for His plan, planting seeds, and holding the watering can because I know I will see the flowers grow in the valley.  

Excerpt from In Your Arena, finding joy in your darkest moments